The desire to be accepted and fit in stays with us throughout our lives. It’s in our nature; humans don’t like to be alone. No matter what age you are, there are going to be people in your life who will lift you up and some who will try to bring you down. Here’s how to find and deal with both kinds.
People that surround us have major influences on our feelings, thoughts, and behavior. While they are important to you, you need to make sure the path you’re on is aligned with your values and goals. If it isn’t, you should align yourself in a way that feels right to you. By surrounding yourself with highly disciplined people, you can help yourself maintain healthy habits and learn new ones. Sometimes the people around you can make you feel like you need to live a different lifestyle that is not your own, or strive for someone else’s definition of success. People can try and drag you down to their level with guilt and shame when you try and rid yourself of bad habits or addiction. You must learn not to internalize this criticism and fight back with positivity and self-worth.
One way to fight the negativity is to know yourself and find your inner guide. Determine what feels right. Ask yourself if each decision is going to be beneficial to you as well as others. Know that you are important and your feelings matter. Try to take part in activities that improve your self confidence and worth, and make sure the decisions you make will enhance that. Think about where you want your life to go and what you are feeling that is causing you to decide this. Is it other people’s pressure or your own thoughts? Give yourself enough time to think about your decisions. This will allow you to decide between all the options, causes, and consequences that may result from your decision,
Being assertive can also help you stay on the road to recovery. If someone is pressuring you to do something you know you don’t want to do, use eye contact and just say no. If you feel like you are going to have to explain yourself, phrase your thought with “I think, I will, I want” to help people better understand your viewpoint and not feel like you are upset with them. In addition, you may want to try and anticipate what your friends and family might say against your decision, coming up with what you can respond with. Find allies that will help support you when others you care about might not be supportive of your decision.
There will always be someone to question your choices, but what really matters is that your decisions reflect the life and goals you want to have. Make sure your decision doesn’t conflict with personal values and morals. After all, most critics speak from some sort of insecurity in themselves. By rejecting and stepping away from the most common path or a path that they themselves have chosen, it may feel like you are rejecting them personally. You aren’t though, and these choices are for your own health and happiness. Remember that your well-being is the most important thing. Sometimes, making a list of all the things that make you feel worthy and good can help remind you why you are worth these changes. It can help you stay on a track to your own happiness even when others don’t support you.
The most important thing is to stay true to your own values and meet the expectations you’ve set for yourself, not what others believe is right. If you are trying to get through recovery, know that you don’t have to go through it alone.
The Last Resort is here to help you recover in a calm, caring environment of trained professionals. There is always hope and support. Call (xxx.xxx.xxxx) for more information.