If a person in your life has succumbed to drug addiction, you should understand that his personality has been hijacked by whatever drug has taken over his life. That person may love you and care deeply for you, but the drugs that his body craves will always take precedence over both his own health and well-being and your own. He will lie, cheat, steal from you, and manipulate every aspect of his relationship with you solely to get his drugs. You can choose to be a victim of that manipulation, or you can reject it and force him to get help for his problem.
Avoid Being Manipulated by An Addicted Loved One
You have many tools and techniques to avoid an addict’s attempts to manipulate you. Initially, you need to develop and confirm your own sense of self-respect and your right to be respected by your addicted loved one. You also have the guilt-free right to express your own opinions, to reject an addict’s demands for money or for other assistance to procure drugs, and to protect yourself from physical and psychological harm. In short, if you have your own house in order you will be better able to reject an addict’s attempts to manipulate you.
In particular, this means that participate in any way in his abuse of any substances. Keep a distance between yourself and the drug addict and refuse to do anything that helps him get drugs into his body. Stay away from his friends and acquaintances that are also drug addicts. The more you are able to stay out of his drug-addled world, the better able you will be to reject his manipulation.
Try to get the addict to look inward and to understand what he is doing both to himself and to you. Again, drugs will have such strong control over an addict that he will try to make you feel guilty about why you are making him suffer without drugs. Push the emphasis back to his own actions and attitudes. If he accuses you of causing his pain, ask him if his accusations are reasonable. Remind him that you are a bystander and that you control your own life, which gives you a say in what you can and should do. The more you can make an addict aware of his own actions, the less likely he will be to turn those actions against you.
Be Patient and Persistent
You will have the advantages of time and patience on your side in these scenarios. If you combine that with frequent attempts to convince the addict to get help, you will be doing him a greater favor than if you allowed yourself to be manipulated by him. Remember that you are not rejecting the person that you originally grew close to, but only the substances that gained control over him. Offer support and encouragement to defeat that presence, and do not let his manipulation distract you from your goal of helping him.
Lastly, accept the fact that you are not the cause of his drug addiction. Many partners of addicts blame themselves for their loved one’s problems. A drug addict is ultimately the only responsible for his own addiction, and only a drug addict can make the final decision to break that addiction. He might have turned to drugs to soothe the pain of stress in a relationship, but that decision was his and his alone. If you accept part of the blame now, you will inevitably let him manipulate you later.
Please call the Last Resort Recovery Center near Austin, Texas, at 512-360-3600 for more information and strategies to avoid being manipulated by a drug addict. We can provide a confidential consultation and make recommendations to help you help the manipulative addict in your life.