Release the Lone Wolf Mentality and Learn to Embrace Relationships
The feeling of isolation and loneliness felt by people is not just a feeling, it is a lived reality for man. The sense of community people desire is waning in favor of going it alone, being independent and doing things solo. The ‘lone wolf mentality’ that men, especially, should act alone is not always helpful, especially as it regards relationships. There are ways to release this old idea of how to live and learn how to be more present to a different way of life.
Challenge of Isolation
In the 1980s, when people were asked about confidantes, they typically stated they had an average of three people in which to confide and share life. Just a few years ago, the same study was replicated, with astonishing results. The most common response was zero. People feel increasingly like they are isolated and alone, which can lend itself to the ‘lone wolf mentality.’ The lone wolf lives by the belief they have to do life alone and nobody has their back. The lone wolf may find that life feels unfair, and that there is no need to ask for help when they can do it all by themselves. The reason for having this mindset goes deeper than people think, back into a childhood survival mechanism. Back then, it made sense to have this instinct but, as an adult, it does more harm than good because it plays on the ego’s fears about scarcity and vulnerability.
Surrender and Trust
When people allow others in, it builds trust. It takes a willingness to surrender and learn that the lone wolf status is not a good option for personal growth and relational health. Chronic isolation may also be bad for a person’s health. Being alone too much can erode a person’s quality of life, negatively impact the sense of happiness and resiliency and be a challenge to a person’s energy and personal resources. It is hard to trust when always looking over the shoulder. Learning to build relationships and community takes time.
Relationships help people feel more connected, but they are also good for overall healthy. The closeness and quality of relationships can keep people alive longer and improve the quality of a person’s life. People who are open to building relationships and moving away from the lone wolf mentality also:
- Build resilience to stressors in life
- Build social connections to survive life’s ups and downs
- Choose to trust even when it is hard
Vulnerability and trust are hard. That is why it is important to seek therapeutic support and community groups that bridge the gap between feeling like a lone wolf and finding key people for the journey of recovery. It helps to build a social life, meet others who are struggling in the same way, but also find others ahead of the game. People who have been in recovery longer can become great mentors for the journey. Put in effort to invest in others who have supported the journey and that energy will likely come back in a positive way. Lean on people who are supportive for the journey but don’t forget to extend care and support back. The journey of recovery is lifelong, it is a good idea to find others to come along with for the ride.
The Last Resort provides a safe, supportive environment for men in a retreat-like setting. Nature is an important component of recovery and healing. We strive to provide a place of enrichment that cultivates the inner as well as the outer journey of recovery. However you find your way to the Last Resort, we endeavor to provide a haven where you can journey through recovery feeling like your life and story have meaning and a purpose. Call us to find out more: 512-750-6750.