One of the most challenging components of recovery is facing one’s own actions. This may sound easy but it is actually very difficult to look at oneself in the mirror and acknowledge the harm done through addiction. Step eight in the 12-step process says to make a list of all persons harmed and be willing to make amends to them all. Here’s how to get started.
The first part of step 8 is being opened minded and willing to face what has happened. Create a list of those people who were harmed and really take into consideration the wrongs committed. It starts with an ability to look deep within oneself for an attitude of humility and determination to set things right with loved ones hurt as a result of harmful actions.
Becoming ready to make an apology is a good way to stop blaming and start creating positive change within those relationships. Punishment is not the goal of step eight, rather it is a pathway to make amends and build healing bridges. In order to repair damage done, seek out those harmed, ask forgiveness and create a plan for building healthy relationships going forward.
Sometimes it can take awhile for people who were harmed to be willing to discuss ways to repair the relationship. Let them take time and practice patience. The harmful actions occurred over a long period of time so don’t expect that they will forgive and move on overnight. Some relationships may not be salvageable so be aware of this and be willing to let them go and forgive yourself. Perhaps, at some point down the road, they may be willing to discuss it when they are ready so it is best not to force anything to happen.
This step can be difficult for many people in recovery. Facing one’s own faults is challenging enough but going to others and making amends even more so. The past cannot be changed nor is the future predictable. Focus on the here and now, make changes and be persistent. All things are possible with a little time and a lot of patience.
You can repair your life. Start with us. Call The Last Resort today 877-892-7997