The average human, believe it or not, can sustain approximately 150 friendships. That is loosely true for people nowadays who boast thousands of ‘friends’ online, but personal, intimate relationships are harder to build. Within those friends are different levels of people from close friends (a few) to acquaintances (many), to looser connections who you just touch base with once in awhile (even more). Learning how to navigate the right friendships can help you balance a healthy recovery with healthy relationships.
A time in men’s life will come when they could use a mentor. Whether he’s a peer or an older man from church or a recovery group, you need someone to turn to when the going gets tough. This is not a ‘dude issue,’ it is about having safe people to be vulnerable with who will not judge you. Besides giving advice, they can provide constructive criticism and help you face people with confidence knowing you are not alone.
The friend who serves different purposes, depending on your stage of life. When you are single, this friend is a ‘wingman.’ They help you handle things on the fly. Often charismatic, they help you take pressure off you to strike up conversations and draw people over and put them to ease. When you get married, they may stay a bachelor and always be the guy you can count on to have fun and hang with when needed. At the drop of a hat, he is there for you anytime.
The guy who can grill a steak, give you tips on buying a car, and help you with stuff around the house is a real gem of a friend. Maybe you need a friend to re-tile the bathroom, but you need someone to also make sure you don’t break the bathroom sink and flood it at the same time. This valuable friend will help if you ask but don’t forget to pay him back somehow with meals, dinner, and appreciation.
A fitness buff helps provide you inspiration; He’s the guy who makes sure you get off the couch. He will motivate you to hit the gym, give up the cake, and stop munching on chips. His invitation to you is to get up and get moving so you can find something fun to do while getting exercise at the same time. He can be an invaluable asset and a good friend at the same time encourage good habits.
Most men spend a lot of time at work. Maybe they’re making the most money or work the most because they have a family to provide for and their wife is at home with the kids. There are also people who just love to work at their jobs and keep moving up the ranks. It takes up lots of hours to work and energy. Having work buddies who understand it all is key to keeping your motivation strong for the long days and nights. This friendship is tricky because if you lose your job, you may lose this friend. They may be someone who gives reviews and decides on your raises at work but, at play, they are your best bud. The key is to be mindful of the work hierarchy and stick to what is needed so you can be friends outside work as well.
Finding people to be friends with is hard in recovery but with these tips, you can hopefully find success in sorting out who is best to be friends with for the journey.
The Last Resort provides a safe, supportive environment for men in a retreat-like setting. Nature is an important component of recovery and healing. We strive to provide a place of enrichment that cultivates the inner as well as the outer journey of recovery. However you find your way to the Last Resort, we endeavor to provide a haven where you can journey through recovery feeling like your life and story have meaning and a purpose. Call us to find out more: 512-750-6750.