Trust involves two or more parties or people. This is about an experience in recovery that helps rebuild and repair relationships that are hurt, lost, or nearly abandoned as a result of addiction. Giving trust without boundaries and trustworthy behavior can have huge effects on a person. Learn how to keep going forward when it seems to trust is lost, even if there are efforts to heal it in recovery.
Trust in Recovery
It is very hard to build trust in recovery. When giving trust, there has to be mutual agreement about what is going to happen. Each person is giving and receiving love and trust in order to build a safe space where the two people can co-create the relationship. When it is broken on one side, the relationship breaks down and trust is lost. There are many ways to build trust in recovery with people that require some attention and intention to make it work. This can include:
- Picking one or two people to share deeply with who are trusted advisors, mentors, or sponsors. Don’t share this openly in meetings with others who cannot hold space for it
- Limit sharing at meetings to broad concepts and feelings rather than intimate details
- Find three or four friends with whom to share other details that are not a sponsor. This is a close-knit group of friends to walk through recovery with, have worked their issues, and practice the program with integrity. Check-in and see what they have to teach about intimacy and relationship-building skills
- Find vulnerability: when being vulnerable, it means completely overturning life as it is and taking the deep dive with trusted people. Stay out of romantic relationships for the first year and don’t focus on intimate friendships while in early recovery
- Know people’s intentions: not everyone has other people’s best interests at heart. It is not possible to change overnight and it takes time. Give slowly and let trust be earned with trustworthy behavior
While still learning to trust, it is easy to fall into traps with people and get lost in their deception. They may try to manipulate or use or not even validate feelings and behavior, so they come across as dishonest. The only thing within a person’s control is what they say, think, do, or feel. Learning to trust the self is key to the whole recovery process. When that is done, it means a person can journey into recovery learning how to trust themselves, their intuition, and people in their lives. It takes time but it is possible to build a group of people who can be trusted and to trust others in the process.
The Last Resort provides a safe, supportive environment for men in a retreat-like setting. We work really hard to help you navigate your journey of healing by building trust with you and supporting you in trusting others on the journey. Call us to find out more: 512-750-6750.