Coping with a loved one’s lies and manipulations can be difficult. Even people who have a close relationship with them may find that the lies add up and feel too immense a bridge to cross. They may decide to push the loved one away in a bid to save themselves the heartache from the lies and manipulation that seem endless while the person is addicted. While it takes families years to recuperate from the ravages of addiction and the lies, there are ways to support a family member with addiction who is willing to try rehab and turn their life around.
The Lies They Tell
The desire to use a drug and drink takes hold of a person’s life and is more important than anything else they have going on. The need for drugs is as necessary as eating or breathing. The sensation may be so overwhelming as to drive an individual insane until they quell the urge or seek help for addiction. Drugs shut down a person’s ability to be analytical or think straight. They are not able to consider all the ways their lies and manipulations harm their family members. A person who smokes marijuana may think the resulting feelings are okay but forget about educational goals that are important to them. Someone who is sober is not going to spend all their money on alcohol. They are more likely, to be honest about what they are doing and work towards healing from a past full of manipulation and lies.
The Onion Peel
As an onion peels back layers, so too do people in recovery. For it to stick, all the layers need to come off. This means coming clean about all the lies, all the ways the person has deceived others in their life and needs to find healing. This peeling back can take years, so don’t worry about rushing through the process with a loved one. Some of the layers to start with:
- Detox in a rehab facility that monitors people in recovery to flush out the toxins
- Get rid of cravings and focus on next steps in the healing journey
- Face the harm done by themselves towards others and take accountability
- Make amends
The journey is only beginning for people in recovery. The lies can damage relationships and feel necessary to cover up an addiction at the time but they are only one part of the reality of addiction. Many people feel a weight lift off their shoulders as they offer love and respect to others that they also claim for themselves. Many forget in recovery it is as much a journey of self-love as it is love for others that continues to grow and provide healing for everyone involved. Lies and manipulation serve only the person who uses them but everyone benefits when the individual is willing to let go and work towards a better way of life as a sober person committed to a life of truth-telling and seeking peace for themselves and others.
The Last Resort provides a safe, supportive environment for men in a retreat-like setting. Nature is an important component of recovery and healing. It is never too late to give up the lies and manipulation to have the life that is waiting for you. Call us to find out more: 512-750-6750.