I spent the majority of my life running away from the truth; Putting on a smile, smooth talking my way out of each problem that presented itself acting however I needed to for the approval of others, or to fulfill my own selfish motives. I had no clue who I was or who I was ever supposed to be, but I knew exactly who it was that you wanted me to be, if that makes any sense. At some point, I figured out this little trick to life; if I presented an image or played the character just right, I could get everyone off my back.
If you have ever known someone who is active in addiction, you know what it feels like to be fooled. It’s quite astonishing how skilled an addict can be when it comes to avoiding the truth. Words flow freely out of their mouth without any hesitation or thought. Lies roll off their tongue so quickly you have no choice but to believe they are holding their promise. It becomes so convincing that even the addict starts to believe his own lie, and it becomes so frequent, it just becomes a part of who he is.
So, recovery for me today is about the truth – by surrounding myself with a group of men who are not afraid to speak honestly, and by asking God to help me separate dishonesty from reality. The more I am able to accept my truth the more comfortable I become. I’m no longer driven by the fear of who I should be, but instead I know exactly who I am. I am a man who is no better and no worse than anyone in this world, and by accepting my truth, I am no longer owned by the lie.
Austin Travis Berry
The Last Resort Recovery Center