Good morning brothers and sisters!
The word honest or honesty is mentioned 23 times in the first 164 pages of the basic text in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. In fact, its one of the ESSENTIAL requirements of THE PROGRAM! I am really big on looking up the definitions of words in an effort to have a clear understanding of what is trying to be transmitted in a message. The word ESSENTIAL means: absolutely necessary; extremely important.
Synonyms: crucial, necessary, key, vital, indispensable, all important, critical, imperative, mandatory… The list goes on, but I think we get the gist of it.
In my own personal experience and the countless others I’ve been so blessed to be able to work with, the separation or blockage from the spirit, the power, and GOD; starts with our inability to be transparent with another human being. Its so subtle in the beginning’, I will tell myself things like “Oh, Its no big deal”, “I’ll deal with it later”, “its the other persons fault”, “my sponsor is a busy man, I don’t want to bother him with how I think and feel.” This kind of rationalization and justification grows from such a simple level of dishonesty to an infinitely grave state of delusion. The question is, am I practicing a tenth step with God and another human being throughout my day? Am I discussing what’s coming up on my nightly reviews with another human being? Or, is all of this just another solitary self appraisal of myself (My Ego). It has always baffled me that with all the knowledge and experience I have gained over the years about myself and this spiritual way of life I still become the guy on page 61. “Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well?” (BB p. 61).
What usually happens is self-reliance fails me, I become spiritually sick again, and the insanity of the next drink or drug becomes an option once more, Life seems unbearable and I will drink or use again. If I’m lucky, I will have a moment of clarity and God will step in to give me the power to humble myself once more and get honest and transparent with another. The light is then shined on the darkness of my Ego and once again I see the truth that I have been a maker of my own misery. I take corrective measures and miraculously I find myself living life on God’s terms, not my own.
Thank you Harry K. from the UK, for walking shoulder to shoulder with our primary purpose in the trenches of this disease.
Thought for the week:
“Just how and when we tell the truth-or keep silent-can often reveal the difference between genuine integrity and none at all”.